What is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
While it's not recommended to diagnose your partner or family member, it's important to first understand that there is a difference between having narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and having narcissistic traits. Narcissism is on a spectrum and we all may exhibit some forms of narcissistic traits in different settings, which can be healthy, as opposed to toxic. That being said, the DSM-5 has identified specific criteria for NPD, but only 5 of the 9 criteria are needed to be met to be diagnosed:
The criteria for narcissistic personality disorder are:
grandiose sense of self-importance
preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
belief they’re special and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions
need for excessive admiration
sense of entitlement
interpersonally exploitative behavior
lack of empathy
envy of others or a belief that others are envious of them
demonstration of arrogant and haughty behaviors or attitudes
What is the Difference between Overt & Covert Narcissists
Signs of an Overt Narcissist
Wolves in wolves clothing
Compulsively attract attention to themselves
Demand admiration and agreement
Charm and flatter those they wish to impress
Arrogant and haughty
Given to rages, including physical violence
View others as competition
One Upmanship - ridicule, mock, degrade others
Project entitlement
Signs of a Covert Narcissist
Wolves in sheep's clothes
Aka shy, vulnerable, communal narcissist
Expert liars and manipulators
Appear to be loving, giving, altruistic, loyal, kind in public but in private are deeply selfish and entitled
Exaggerate suffering and sickness to garner sympathy
Delusions of victimization and persecution
Seek out caretaker personality types to exploit (codependents and empaths)
Hypersensitive to perceived criticism
Use passive-aggressive manipulation tactics
Cry on cue and manipulate through self-pitying performances
Stage a crisis to gain attention
Blame their problems and failures on “unfair” people, institutions, and circumstances
Drain their partner/family emotionally
Both may have comorbidities of depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, substance use disorders, or eating disorders and may co-occur with other Cluster B personality disorders such as borderline personality disorder, paranoid personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder, etc.
